my L.A. diet

i'm on an L.A. diet,
BlackBerry and Cafe Americano
but
i ask for Irish cream &
a two Splenda packet addition;
just so i can continue to stay awake-

to keep my fingers moving along
a cheap piano with coffee stains.

for me to love you then was easy
for me to love you now is easy-

if it was mutual,
i think you would stop drinking.

your blue moon eyes
eclipse,
i get scared
but
there must still be light in there,
surrounding the blackness of your pupils

let me drive,
please.

for you to drive during eclipse nights
for you to drive during eclipse nights-

will get us killed
and it will hurt
me,
so much, to have to
stop my writing and fingering melodies,
my dedications to you.

my L.A. diet isn't healthy,
i am going to crash
soon,
soon
very soon.

you didn't let me drive,
sorry.

i think both our faults
are to blame.

is it so pathetic
that i want your thirsty mouth to
kiss me?

we are going to crash
together.

this automobile is not built
for reckless youth

for us to be on the road ruined the night
for us to be on the road ruined the night-

the big bang theory must apply to us,
now-
to this moment of bending metal
rubber making fireworks
breaking bones,
breaking hearts.

the noise is hurting my head
ssshhh-

my starry ghosts eyes
cannot see
you

it's been a very long night
it's been a very bad accident-
accidental love in an automobile
crashed and crushed us

i still cannot see you
where are you?

i'm scared more of ambulances
than of the darkness in your pupils.

where are you?
i am too awake from the coffee to fall asleep
from this nightmare