ma mere et mon pere
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Burning Morning
your umbrella is here
you left your umbrella flying in my Parisian sky;
i stepped out on my balcony
with a cup of tea and my morning paper,
the boiled water was not hot enough to burn my mouth-
you left your umbrella flying in my Parisian sky;
i stepped out on my balcony
with a cup of tea and my morning paper,
the boiled water was not hot enough to burn my mouth-
i wanted pain, pain like the pain
that keeps
little children from touching the flat iron.
instead, i saw your umbrella and a few more than just yours-
outside.
flying.
all those colors in my sky
burned my eyes
and that was- enough.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Note on a scale
Monday, May 18, 2009
my lover is like johnny
you are like a johnny
and i drink to that;
honestly, i raise my glass,
here's to you, my johnny boy.
i could photograph you 12 times and more
and still don't know what each of your expressions is to me.
if you stopped moving away from me,
maybe for a few hours, just sitting there
looking back at me,
i'm sure i could paint a male mona lisa.
we could start a renaissance, god only knows we need it.
yes, i drink to that.
and i drink to that;
honestly, i raise my glass,
here's to you, my johnny boy.
i could photograph you 12 times and more
and still don't know what each of your expressions is to me.
if you stopped moving away from me,
maybe for a few hours, just sitting there
looking back at me,
i'm sure i could paint a male mona lisa.
we could start a renaissance, god only knows we need it.
yes, i drink to that.
{pic: ffffound}
ladies chug wine
you know you are not alone
when you're best friends are there on the cold floor
flushed
each with bottle of wine (empty by this point)
singing Bonnie Tyler's "It's a heartache"
in voicemails
we are the lady's of the night
leaving voicemails for lover's lost
serenading our pathetic pains to the night
and of course toast and 7up the morning after
when you're best friends are there on the cold floor
flushed
each with bottle of wine (empty by this point)
singing Bonnie Tyler's "It's a heartache"
in voicemails
we are the lady's of the night
leaving voicemails for lover's lost
serenading our pathetic pains to the night
and of course toast and 7up the morning after
{pic: ffffound}
Thursday, May 14, 2009
my L.A. diet
i'm on an L.A. diet,
BlackBerry and Cafe Americano
but
i ask for Irish cream &
a two Splenda packet addition;
just so i can continue to stay awake-
to keep my fingers moving along
a cheap piano with coffee stains.
for me to love you then was easy
for me to love you now is easy-
if it was mutual,
i think you would stop drinking.
your blue moon eyes
eclipse,
i get scared
but
there must still be light in there,
surrounding the blackness of your pupils
let me drive,
please.
for you to drive during eclipse nights
for you to drive during eclipse nights-
will get us killed
and it will hurt
me,
so much, to have to
stop my writing and fingering melodies,
my dedications to you.
my L.A. diet isn't healthy,
i am going to crash
soon,
soon
very soon.
you didn't let me drive,
sorry.
i think both our faults
are to blame.
is it so pathetic
that i want your thirsty mouth to
kiss me?
we are going to crash
together.
this automobile is not built
for reckless youth
for us to be on the road ruined the night
for us to be on the road ruined the night-
the big bang theory must apply to us,
now-
to this moment of bending metal
rubber making fireworks
breaking bones,
breaking hearts.
the noise is hurting my head
ssshhh-
my starry ghosts eyes
cannot see
you
it's been a very long night
it's been a very bad accident-
accidental love in an automobile
crashed and crushed us
i still cannot see you
where are you?
i'm scared more of ambulances
than of the darkness in your pupils.
where are you?
i am too awake from the coffee to fall asleep
from this nightmare
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
days spent in the music room
Monday, May 11, 2009
Nevermind Never
Nevermind Never Growing up
Never more immaturity, once you hit the 20s
its never the same.
you can still be you (*if as Holden says you aren't a PHONY)
and Frost just knew the time, natures first gold is green..only for an hour
Its been so many the times that i asked Peter the way to NeverNeverLand; he always showed me to the stars and gave me city lights. What can i say, i loved his boyish grins.
He was so good to me, still is. But we can't speak art nor drink coffee nor KISS.
The only thing that kept me in his trance was the midnight dances on clouds and shooting stars.
Games cannot be masked as ideals, Kindness cannot be all; Friendship isn't enough.
Peter has no ideals no reals no seriousness;
once in a while i want to speak in cries and screams; laughs are good and all but he's afraid of serious talk.
Peter has stolen my heart many a time, but i believe in plasticity (not all my heart was taken by him);
i can survive with half a heart
Farewell Peter, i will laugh and grin warm thoughts of you. Poetry, art, science, liquor, anger, music, sadness, giggles, blushes, life and midnight kisses await.
Never more immaturity, once you hit the 20s
its never the same.
you can still be you (*if as Holden says you aren't a PHONY)
and Frost just knew the time, natures first gold is green..only for an hour
Its been so many the times that i asked Peter the way to NeverNeverLand; he always showed me to the stars and gave me city lights. What can i say, i loved his boyish grins.
He was so good to me, still is. But we can't speak art nor drink coffee nor KISS.
The only thing that kept me in his trance was the midnight dances on clouds and shooting stars.
Games cannot be masked as ideals, Kindness cannot be all; Friendship isn't enough.
Peter has no ideals no reals no seriousness;
once in a while i want to speak in cries and screams; laughs are good and all but he's afraid of serious talk.
Peter has stolen my heart many a time, but i believe in plasticity (not all my heart was taken by him);
i can survive with half a heart
Farewell Peter, i will laugh and grin warm thoughts of you. Poetry, art, science, liquor, anger, music, sadness, giggles, blushes, life and midnight kisses await.
I can buy a telescope to look at the stars and city motion; i can buy a map to find my way; i can dance on ground; i can do it alone, i just wish Peter liked coffee.
{ggle img: peter pan statue}
Friday, May 8, 2009
Lasso me to the Moon
Thursday, May 7, 2009
this is the way we walk
... and we get very far
drunks baptized me. now i wear glasses, study, talk fancy, and smile. One day i will be a drunk harmonica player with a degree buying flowers for myself on Las Ramblas. As well as being a proud member of the Picasso Museum. Hopefully, happy.
i'm really not so sad as i sound sometimes, but i do have sadness like we all do.
i think its the weather, and fucking la jolla(*i love Pacific Beach though) **i could do without the sand though
other things as well...
but
if anything i'm a big cotton candy piece.
with rants and such crazy days of too much emotion.
i believe the solution would be piano lessons.
F-A-C-E
E-G-B-D-F
* i finally know what the keys and pedals mean, thanks to my teacher Lady Jazz.
yes piano lessons and my magazine adventuring (* W, Vogue, Nylon, Interview, ...)
without music i'd be quite lost; extremely.
drunks baptized me. now i wear glasses, study, talk fancy, and smile. One day i will be a drunk harmonica player with a degree buying flowers for myself on Las Ramblas. As well as being a proud member of the Picasso Museum. Hopefully, happy.
i'm really not so sad as i sound sometimes, but i do have sadness like we all do.
i think its the weather, and fucking la jolla(*i love Pacific Beach though) **i could do without the sand though
other things as well...
but
if anything i'm a big cotton candy piece.
with rants and such crazy days of too much emotion.
i believe the solution would be piano lessons.
F-A-C-E
E-G-B-D-F
* i finally know what the keys and pedals mean, thanks to my teacher Lady Jazz.
yes piano lessons and my magazine adventuring (* W, Vogue, Nylon, Interview, ...)
without music i'd be quite lost; extremely.
{photo Hedi Diary}
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
lady-like i am
i made this a while back, when i was practicing for a poetry reading
of course i stumbled my words,
but this is actually very helpful before doing a reading
very vain to record one's self, but it worked, (think?).
of course i stumbled my words,
but this is actually very helpful before doing a reading
very vain to record one's self, but it worked, (think?).
The poem is
Lady-like i am.
Lady-like i am.
just a question
why is it so easy to dream
everything you wish to become;
to close our eyes and think it true
off sometime away, but think it coming?
being with you in thoughts is so easy,
mechanisms and graphs so funny in jokes,
lecture halls of three hundred and somehow i belong,
weakness so easily dismissed
why do we go in cycles of dream
and real?
over
and over
and over
and over
we never go beyond the surface talk
i never seem to understand the depth ...
in you
in him
in mechanisms
in graphs
in data
in speech
i try i really do
i sometimes try so hard that i drive myself to drink
alone
everything you wish to become;
to close our eyes and think it true
off sometime away, but think it coming?
being with you in thoughts is so easy,
mechanisms and graphs so funny in jokes,
lecture halls of three hundred and somehow i belong,
weakness so easily dismissed
why do we go in cycles of dream
and real?
over
and over
and over
and over
we never go beyond the surface talk
i never seem to understand the depth ...
in you
in him
in mechanisms
in graphs
in data
in speech
i try i really do
i sometimes try so hard that i drive myself to drink
alone
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
For the eyes of the world
For the eyes of the world now look into space, to the moon and to the planets beyond
We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon... we choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win
JFK
We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon... we choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win
JFK
Monday, May 4, 2009
Catch the Wind (1964)
i play harmonica;
and Donovan is one of my idols.
If you ever get a chance listen to CATCH THE WIND.
Letter to Donovan:
You can't find my eyes; but is it enough that i want to keep my hand in the sand with you?
Oh, yes, i do want to feel you all around me, to feel you and the wind.
Love me now in the windy and windless forevers.
I lean on shoulders, but with you at the guitar i catch myself moving to your romances.
Hide,
hide a while in love,
with me.
Harmonica play,
Spit used all my water, so there are no tears, just rain.
Be amazed, rain is beautiful.
i long to be caught in the wind.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Can you see the sky from the 3rd floor?
"when you love somebody it's hard to think of anything but to breathe" - Fruit Bats
Saturday, May 2, 2009
when i sometimes smell like smoke
Friday, May 1, 2009
What i have been up too
so i've been busy with midterms and wishing i was smart, drinking coffee, not sleeping, not eating.
Well for the last week my meals consisted of: apple sauce, orange juice, coffee, toast, pasta, muffin, coffee, coffee, naked juice, hot dog, coffee.
I may be lacking in protein but never in music:
so basically i choose to go to a ra ra riot, cold war kids and death cab concert over studying for organic chemistry
on the plus side, my drinking habits are practically non-existent because Jazz (my future roommate for my NEW apartment) took away my don julio and i've had no time
Well for the last week my meals consisted of: apple sauce, orange juice, coffee, toast, pasta, muffin, coffee, coffee, naked juice, hot dog, coffee.
I may be lacking in protein but never in music:
so basically i choose to go to a ra ra riot, cold war kids and death cab concert over studying for organic chemistry
on the plus side, my drinking habits are practically non-existent because Jazz (my future roommate for my NEW apartment) took away my don julio and i've had no time
My Moon Book
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