when i get home

i don't plan on being home anytime soon
i'm sleeping in the lab again
i guess that's more productive than i've been these past hours

my head nods once in a while
my neck falls in circles and hits the table
my notes are out and i wish i knew more about Java and reconstructive memory and ANOVA
but i don't

i know when i get home
when i finally make it back there
it will be too late for tea;
when i log into my inbox maybe if i'm lucky i'll have a message from you
waiting for me
greeting me home
like a neck message; i really need one of
your grins in a message
-but i'm realistic:
i know tonight, tomorrow's 1am morning most likely is empty
it's okay

i guess

as i reach my door
i know it will jam; most likely 3times
but really might even take 5 turns and wiggles to let me in

i will crash completely
completely

but before i do
i will go to this talking mirror that i have
and look at it straight up no bullshit
and it will scream back to me the redness of my eyes, the bags of my eyes, the blurred eyeliner of my eyes

and i will just fall alseep in response

{picture: ffffound}