why is it that we always finds ourselves at the docks

at 3am
shine a flashlight on me and you'll see that i am not there; it's not four years ago.

i told you i wasn't stardust,
i'm just broken glass
the broken beer bottles by the Henry Fonda parking lot

our walks recklessly never on tempo leave me exercised
the moon songs on the radio, they don't mean we'll be there for each other

i can't see the start of things, that you said was in my lips
and i broke the glasses that you fell in love with
But you still won't leave me alone.

further and further away i want you gone

i need to be left

i can't shake the smell of your nicotine stains
there's no way to
exchange this weak system

i was never a secondhand smoker until i met you
i was doing just fine

until
i saw your name spelled wrong on my run through echo park
and
at 3am i used spray paint to fix the misspelling on the tunnel wall.

i am trying to get big but this record is on repeat

<Get Big>

Once we get to the end of this song,
then it will begin again.
So you said,
in our bed.
I was watching light ship
through blinds to find your skin.


So take your medicine
and I won't ask where you've been.

Live your lost weekend.
I know you've wanted it.
Get big, little kid.

And I can't say why each day
doesn't quite fit the space
we saved for it.
But if that space now demands
that you throw up both your hands,
that you call it quits...

Take your midnight trip
I know you've dreamed of it.
Walk your sunset strip,
because I think you've needed it
to get big, little kid.

But just remember that our love
only got this good
because of those younger days
that'd you like to outstrip.
So drink your cup down
to the dregs and leave
that club shaking legs
with another guy,
but just remember: I'm not him.

Take your medicine and I won't ask
where you've been.
Live your lost weekend,
because I know you've wanted it
to get big, little kid.

And once we get to the end of this song,
then another will begin.

-OKKERVIL RIVER lyrics

in a muddle

i am in a muddle

there's so much that is stuck

i have a passport, that i kept with other stuff i rarely use.

Life and Picasso

i fell in love with Picasso when i was in Barcelona

it was the Picasso Museum of Barcelona that made me realize how passionate his works are.

 

I love what belongs to me, yet at the same time I have a strong urge to destroy. It's the same with love.- Picasso

music searching

lately i've been in the mood for wine,

 and music.

so i've been looking up artists.

enjoy. this is why i love music.

{glenn gould's piano skills leave me shuffled}

{there's nothing that i love more than being welcomed home from my day with music as i step onto the subway platform}

{edith piaf reminds me of my muddled heart and mind}

about my book search

sunday mornings

i wake up at 5:45am 

start my car with bob dylan and velvet underground tunes

get my newspaper and coffee at the 7-11

and head to the early bird old bookstore sales @ the flea market

recently i've been in the mood to find my childhood books

like 

Caps for Sale

Clifford the big red Dog

Frog and Toad 

Madeline

Little Bear

...

i've found a lot

and was really lucky at finding 1960-1970s 2nd, 3rd, 5th printings of my books.

i'm a 89-90s kid but i do not complain about vintage books.

i guess it's silly

but i get really happy when i find a book with prices of 50cents or 25cents  

i guess sunday morning's are my favorite time of the week. 

inspiration for the empty

i left my new apartment a mess.
well it had so much potential, until we got the hideous couch and coffee table.
i guess this means never again use school loop to buy furniture.

we have so much work to do before we get it up to living standards.
the thing is we are broke college students.

sigh.

Living nice doesn't mean spending a lot
it's just a matter of luck in trying to find everything
and coordinating the colors and arrangements.

i guess the grunge look will be okay
for now

well in the mean time we are bargain hunting for furniture.


Of course, inspiration is a must.
So here it is
my hopes and dreams:
{well some of them}

meditation solutions

there are things in my head
that i wanted to erase

i close my eyes

but the demons came in through the ommmms of my mouth

papa Buddha, grandpa Moses
you gave me a sucker
it passed the time with delight

i guess it's just common sense
to close my eyes
to close my mouth, stop breathes, turn purple and die

Fireflies in the garden

ROBERT FROST

fireflies in the garden

Here come real stars to fill the upper skies,
And here on earth come emulating flies,
That though they never equal stars in size,
(And they were never really stars at heart)
Achieve at times a very star-like start.
Only, of course, they can't sustain the part.

we are human; the world revolves around us

we are human.
we think in human terms.
there is no other perspective than the human perspective.

right?

i guess it's only human to attribute biological motion to non-living things.

like dots, those are just dots?

or not. the brain is funny, it sees humans in dots.
and moving dots are moving humans.

In his biomotion lab, Dr. Troje illustrates how movement, speed, direction, arrangement of lit up dots become human.



take a look:

The Biomotion Lab.

playing with the brain is fun.

sleep and ART

i cannot sleep
i wish
to dream in pop ART.



the black and white creators
like to play with my sentimental heart.

i cannot resist

Dearest Bobby D,



i cannot resist listening to your voice on tape.
on cd
on film
on stage

i wish i had a record player, so that i can fall in love with you.

sincerly,
GMB